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Becoming a parent for the first time is an incredibly exciting and amazing time in your life.

However, it can and most likely will be a time when you are consumed with worry about how to raise your own addition to the family and if you ever know what you are doing. You are not alone. Pretty much all first parents have worries of some type from the moment they find out they are expecting right through the rest of their lives, even as these babies reach adulthood. Parenting can be a really long, worrisome period regardless of your child’s age.

But it will also be the most joyous time in your life. Those first heady days with a newborn, soaking in their presence and marvelling at the fact that you created something so perfect, are truly magical. From the first milestones, like the first smile, the first steps, making friends, and more, parenting is a journey filled with immense joy and love despite occasional challenges.

Let’s take a look at some of the more common worries that first-time parents have to help alleviate any concerns you might have.

Will I Bond with Baby?

This is something every parent worries about, and it can be more prevalent in men than women simply because a mum has carried a baby for the duration of the pregnancy, and there will already be a bond developing there. And while TV shows and movies can romanticise the bonding experience and show it to be immediate. It’s not always like this for everyone; some people take a little longer to bond with their new baby than others. The main thing is not to worry about it. Tips for helping to create a bond if one doesn’t appear automatically include

• Skin-to-skin contact for both parents
• Responding to cries
• Holding the baby
• Talking to them
• Feeding them
• Making contact when they or you need it

But the reality is it could take days, weeks, months or a bond to form, so don’t be too hard on yourself and let things figure themselves out naturally.

Will My Baby Die in Their Sleep?

One of the common fears for parents is the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). This fear can make it difficult to rest, especially if you’re constantly checking on your baby’s breathing. However, following the latest sleep guidelines and best practices can significantly reduce this risk, providing you with peace of mind.

• Put baby to sleep on their back
• Keep the head and face uncovered
• No smoking around the baby
• Keep the room temperature comfortable; don’t let them get too hot
• Don’t use pillows
• Keep the baby in the room with you until they’re 6 months old.

You can take these a step further by using breathing monitors to track your baby’s breathing and sleep, alert you to any issues, and put your mind at ease. You can use sleeping sacks instead of blankets for cots and bedding, and you can read up on guidelines for moving your baby from a bassinet to a crib so they’re always in the right sleeping environment for their age and size.

What If I Drop My Baby?

Not just limited to parents, this is something most people who come into contact with newborn babies pray about. What if I trip over and drop my baby? What happens if I have a medical episode and drop them? What if they fall from my arms or out of the pram?        

Again, this is something many parents have concerns about, especially listening to anecdotal stories from others around them about dropping babies on their heads. Thankfully, incidences of this kind aren’t common, and you can avoid the risk of dropping your baby by only holding them when you sit down until you get used to them being in your arms. Use a sling or a baby carrier to hold them as they are not in your arms. You can use a blanket around them to add protection, or you can avoid placing cribs, baskets, car seats, etc, on raised surfaces so they do not accidentally get knocked off. However, the main way to reduce the worry about dropping your baby is to build up how you hold it in different scenarios when you are comfortable. Because they are overconfident that you are holding your baby, fewer risks will be present when you do.

My Baby Isn’t Developing Normally?

Comparing babies to others around you or listening to parents boast about their child’s reaching milestones ahead of suggested guidelines can make you worry your baby isn’t doing what it should be. But all babies are different, and milestone guidelines are just that: guidelines. They’re not hard and fast rules, nor should you expect your baby to do things before they’re ready, especially in those early few weeks. Whether it is not sleeping through the night, or they’re not growing as fast or settling as easily as others say their babies are, there isn’t always a cause for concern.

However, if you notice changes in behaviour, crying, or duration, or if they change their feeding habits, for example, or are months behind developmental stages, it’s worth talking to your health visitor or doctor for further advice and support.

My Baby Won’t Sleep or Is Sleeping Too Much

Sleep is the main source of concern for most parents. They worry if they’re not getting enough or if they’re getting too much. And it’s true that not all babies will sleep the same or for the same duration. In the first few weeks, your baby should spend most of their time sleeping, and this will gradually reduce as they get older. Newborns will sleep around 16 hours a day, and this will reduce to around 15 hours at around 2-3 months and slowly drop as they move through their first year of life.

If your baby is sleeping more than this, and they don’t seem to be able to stay awake. It is worth getting medical advice; the same goes for not sleeping near these amounts. All babies need a lot of sleep, and if they’re not getting it, then it’s worth investigating to ensure nothing serious is going on. But your baby will likely find their preferred sleeping habits quickly and, for the most part, sleep as much as they need to automatically.

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