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Iceni Magazine | February 7, 2025

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The Main Stresses When Planning a Wedding

The Main Stresses When Planning a Wedding

So, you’re getting married! Arguably the biggest and best day of your life and one than many girls fantasise about, even today.

Being a princess for a day, decked out in an extravagant white gown, with your prince close to hand, celebrating with flowers, balloons, a lavish banquet, speeches, wedding cake, champagne and smiling friends and family close by.

But all that takes hours of planning and lots of expense. There’s a certain irony in saying that if a couple can survive their wedding, they can survive anything!

A wedding starts out by being about the couple; it’s their day, to honour their relationship and give others the opportunity to wish them well for their future. Of course, parents and any siblings all need to be included in the day, as well as friends and their partners.  And don’t forget important colleagues from work and their other halves. How far does the net have to reach, and do both bride and groom have to agree on the guest list? Do they get a 50/50 allocation of places?

Seating plans can keep a couple awake at night, determining who will gel with each other, who’s not spoken for years and needs to be kept apart, who’s going to be the best man and will there be bridesmaids? All exacerbated when last-minute cancellations and new guests need to be accommodated.

These decisions impact on food choices. A sit-down wedding breakfast can be a good way to manage a room, rather than having a buffet, where tables take their turns to go and be served. But there are important decisions about what to offer guests; food allergies, how many vegetarians and vegans are there, specific dietary requirements, all additional factors to consider.

And that’s before decisions are taken on dress codes and whether or not there’s a request for all guests to wear a specific colour or style of clothing. Better give people plenty of warning if they’re to dress formally or wear Star Wars costumes! And will it be a lavish church wedding, non-denominational or a registry office. What happens if there’s a clashing of views on what is wanted? 

Paying for all of this can be a massive burden, especially if there’s an inequality in financial standing and one side is insistent on what they want. The average spend on a wedding in 2023 is calculated to be £19184 (according to Bridebook), an increase of £2500 year on year, but the day of the week, month and year are all factors to consider, as well as the cost of the honeymoon.            

At one time, the father of the bride used to pay most of the wedding expenses, often saving for years to give his girl the send-off of her dreams, but gradually those costs have become shared between the bride and groom’s family and now, as many couples choose to live together prior to marriage and are often older and in established careers, the couple themselves often contribute towards their wedding expenses, which has the added benefit of giving them greater autonomy over their choices for the day.

And sometimes that choice means getting married overseas. Having a beach resort wedding with just the bride and groom, perhaps any children and a couple of special guests to act as witnesses can be a good way to avoid an excess of wedding stress. While some couples might opt for local entertainment – like these DJs in Canberra (or elsewhere) who can add a professional touch to pre-wedding celebrations – others might prefer a more intimate destination ceremony with close knit family and friends without any of the extravaganza. Maybe having ‘a bit of a do’ to celebrate with their wider guest list on their return.

Certainly, there’s the potential for a lot of stress when planning a wedding, with some people choosing to hand it over to the venue or a wedding planner to sort! Sometimes letting an experienced third-party arrange it all for you can ease a massive headache. They’re neutral, have done this many times and may even think of things you’ve not considered. Also, they’re often skilled at managing potential areas of conflict before they even arise!

When you’re planning the best day of your life it might be a good move to let someone else do the ‘heavy lifting’, so that you can minimise thestress and focus on enjoying your day!


Article By Susan Leigh, Counsellor & Hypnotherapist   www.lifestyletherapy.net


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