---

Divorce can be an emotional time, no matter who decided to separate.

Untangling the life that you shared with your partner takes time and there’s a lot to navigate as the divorce process gets underway.  

If you have children together, there’s an added layer. Even though you and your ex-partner aren’t together anymore, you must consider the practical challenges that come with managing this change. Prioritising your children’s emotional wellbeing is key.  

While this is a period of adjustment, it’s possible to manage the next steps in a way that works for you as a family.   

Communicating with children about divorce 

How you speak to your children about what’s happening will be age dependent. Younger children may need reassurance that they are not to blame, while older children might want more detailed explanations about how their lives will change.  

Regardless of their age, it’s vital that they know they’re loved and cared for. 

Some tips to help you include:  

Create a space where children feel safe to ask questions and express their worries.  

Try to avoid sugar-coating the situation or offering false hope that things might go back to the way they were. Children are perceptive, and ambiguity can lead to confusion or anxiety.  

Listen actively when they express their feelings and concerns. Validate their emotions and use phrases like “It’s okay to feel sad or angry” so that they know their emotions are normal.  

It’s also worth looking into resources that help you to direct conversations. Knowing things like who has parental responsibility and making agreements with your ex about contact can make it easier to respond confidently to questions from your child.  

Managing co-parenting and custody arrangements 

Be consistent. Children thrive on routine, and establishing a predictable schedule helps them feel secure. Work together with your former partner to create a detailed parenting plan that outlines how time will be shared, how holidays will be managed, and how important decisions about education, healthcare, and other matters will be handled. 

Keep the focus on the needs of the children rather than past disagreements. Using a neutral, child-centred approach can reduce conflict and prevent children from feeling caught in the middle.  

If you and your ex put forward a united approach, you children will feel more secure. So, if possible, try to have similar rules and expectations across both households. This will minimise confusion.  

There are apps designed for co-parenting that could be helpful. OurFamilyWizard, for example, can streamline communication and scheduling, making it easier to stay organised.  

Understanding the financial implications 

Whether it’s dividing assets, calculating child maintenance, or planning for future expenses, understanding your finances is one of the biggest and most time-consuming parts of divorce proceedings. 

Assess your financial situation early on to prevent unexpected surprises later. Tools like a divorce calculator can provide a clearer picture and help you to budget for you and your children.  

Consider both immediate needs and long-term financial stability.  

Review joint accounts, insurance policies, and any shared debts to ensure that all financial responsibilities are accounted for.  

If necessary, consult a financial advisor who specialises in divorce to guide you through the complexities of property division and financial planning.  

Seeking emotional and legal support 

Divorce can feel overwhelming, and seeking professional support can make a difference.  

Counselling can provide a safe space for you and the children. This is an opportunity to express emotions, process grief, and develop coping strategies now that your family looks different to what it was. Therapists with experience in family transitions can help children navigate feelings of loss or confusion while giving parents with tools to manage their own emotional wellbeing. 

Legal advice is equally important to ensure that your rights and responsibilities are protected throughout the process. A qualified family solicitor can help you understand the legal implications of divorce, draft fair agreements, and address any custody or financial concerns.  

Mediation services can also be useful. This offers a less adversarial way to resolve disputes and reach agreements that work for everyone involved. 

If you’re in the early stages of divorce proceedings, this is a good time to plan how you want to approach this with your child. It’s possible to embrace the changes that are to come and emerge stronger as a family.  

---