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Iceni Magazine | October 15, 2019

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Are you ready for a post-divorce holiday?

Are you ready for a post-divorce holiday?

Divorce is often a debilitating process. It takes its toll and can impact on every area of life, eroding our confidence, self-esteem and sense of worth, as well as seriously affecting our finances. Often, when it’s eventually finalised, we’re left feeling drained and flat.

Grief often accompanies divorce. The loss of the life we so joyfully anticipated, the awareness that this stage of our life is over, anger, self-recrimination, resentment perhaps at what’s happened. We may even feel a failure, a reject and consequently unlovable.

Often times recovery is dependent on several factors. If children are involved are they settled, accepting and seeming to cope well with the new arrangements? Is a third-party involved? Are we okay with our new domestic situation, living where we want or need to for now? Are things starting to come together again?

Some people may negotiate to stay in the marital home. Others may decide to move elsewhere and maybe choose to have the company of a house share for a while or they decide to move altogether and start afresh. Money is often a significant factor, needing to earn money or perhaps taking the opportunity to review their career direction and future options.

All these important, life-defining considerations on top of the divorce proceedings can mean there’s a real readiness to take a break once things are finally sorted. There’s a need to regroup and breathe for a while. Some people may choose to break the mood by throwing a party and celebrating their new single status. For others a holiday may be the way to go.

One holiday operator is offering 4 night post-divorce getaways to Las Vegas, with makeovers and fun times included. It’s an opportunity to detach from reality and take some time out with friends. Las Vegas is party central so it’s a sure thing that there’ll be other groups also enjoying short breaks with stag weekends and birthday parties. Plenty of opportunity to let their hair down.

Then there are those who prefer a calmer post-divorce break. Something not too boisterous can provide time and space for reflection and healing. After a divorce, when so much in life has changed, it can be good to take time to consider your longterm options; where you want to live, what you want to do with your life, how you’d like to move forward. Yes, some things need sorting immediately, perhaps as a temporary measure, but longterm decisions are often best postponed till after the dust has somewhat settled.

Already at a crossroads, divorce can be a time to reflect on the different areas of life and start afresh. A holiday can provide a distinct break from other people and their advice, as well as from the routine demands and distressing associations of home and everyday life. Booking a quiet break, perhaps even a retreat can offer a detached time-out from all the old associations and recent turmoil.

Others may want a holiday that focuses on their varied interests, perhaps something they were never able to properly pursue in their earlier life or something new and appealing. They may choose an educational break, perhaps learning to dance, paint, study a language and immerse themselves in a new skill. And this can be a great opportunity to make connections with like-minded people, possibly even making new friendships.

Yes, lying on a beach or going sight-seeing can be fun, but a holiday post-divorce can be a time to detach from what’s been hurtful and life-changing, reconnect with yourself and maybe with your children for a while and prepare yourself for starting again once you return. Then you can come back, ready to commit to a fresh start as a renewed version of yourself. Going a little wild with your mates for a few days is certainly one option, but there are plenty of other choices available when you’re ready for a post-divorce holiday.


Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She’s author of 3 books, ‘Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact’, ‘101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday’ and ‘Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain’, all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net


 

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